Long Shot

I know it's a long shot, but does anyone live in the Portland area who already has/wants to be part of a playgroup? None of my 20-something friends have kids yet and it might be fun to have a cup of coffee with someone who can identify......

I am crazy

Did I ever share with you dear internet that I am crazy? I just had a beautiful baby a mere 3 months ago and am already filled with anticipation about making another one..... Whilst I have obviously lost my damn mind, I have lost nary a lb. of the newly added flesh I acquired during the babymaking foray.

Like Father......

Did you ever....

Get medicine for low milk supply and then start peeing green, have nuclear-1989 flourecent yellow-oh-my- Gosh-it's SO-FREAKING-yellow-breast milk, freak out and call the LC with bright yellow hysterical tears streaking your face and realize after melting down for two days discover that it is after all.....oops.....the B-vitamin you started taking that makes urine and milk harmlessly yellow? Me either.

Got no milk?

My worst nightmare came true during our visit to the LC on Friday. I went from sort-of-barely adequate milk supply to why-are-you-starving-your-baby status in one short week. I am now a regular pharmacopia of supplementation trying to bring back the leche. I take brewers yeast and beer and fenugreek and mother's milk tea and now I am on Reglan which can cause severe depression, all to bring on the milk. I keep telling myself that this is the right thing to do and I truly believe it, but when I responded no when the LC offered to give Goldita formula to top her off, I felt like a horrible person. I mean, my kid was hungry and I made her wait until I got her home to feed her pumped milk.

She told me that my supply is most likely low because I am so stressed at work. Tell me, should I just take my layoff now and not wait for them to replace me? Should I be a bad employee or a bad mother? I am really in a quandry folks.

My Social Life

We have a weekly soiree at our house simply called Thursday Night where a group of friends eat, drink, laugh and regress into life circa mid-freshman year at college. My awesome friend Anthony the blogless wonder so I have no link to send you to was gracious and hosted it at his fabulous loft in the pearl to give The Davey and I a little break. Food was great, drink was better, conversation lively. That was when my adorable ten lb. time bomb went off. Poor kid screaming her way over a room full of adults enjoying a candelit dinner. Goldie was hungry, it was past her bedtime. Think fuel to fire. I tried to feed her. She tried screaming some more. She won. I shoved a Mighty Boob in her wailing mouth. I should note that while she did not feed, she did make an incredibly interesting noise that sounded like a big mound of flesh flapping against a toothless screaming mouth. I started wondering what my social life is going to be like when she can walk and talk and doesn't just lie quietly in the corner sucking her binky. Also I thought about the real implications of how bad a things must be when your boob makes someone cry.

Modern Mama

For the time being for another month or two. I am such a modern mama yo. I drag my tired saggy body out of bed by 6, drink coffee, shower, carefully apply MAC makeup before getting my baby out of bed to nurse. I breastfeed her, play and cuddle for exactly 30 min of quality mama time before handing her off to her father or godfather and speed off to work. At work I do reports, discipline employees, meet with clients, deal with audits and budgets and 100 emails and still have time to breastfeed again during meetings with co-workers at 10:30 a.m. when someone brings her to the office. Talk about multi-tasking! I grab a quick lunch and head home again for a quick feeding before my afternoon appointments arrive.

I haul my pathetic self back home after leaving 25 voicemails unheard. The feeding machine strikes again! When my baby detatches herself, I pack us both up and head to the gym and drop her off in childcare and work my fat ass out for an hour or so before snatching the little darling up and covering her sweet face with sweaty kisses and load her up.

By then I have to hit the Taco Bell drive thru, because, dude, a crunch wrap supreme sounds really tasty. Maybe I'll stop by my girlfriends house because I really still need some fun in my life. Feed the baby. A glass of wine and some laughs are in order.

We get home in time to nurse one more time and have daddy help bathe and put the baby to bed. I finally drop my corpse into bed. Try to have some time with my husband and finally pass out. 5 or 6 hours later it starts all over again.

Yup, I'm a modern mama indeed. This is no life for me.

My Boobs

Everywhere I click in the baby blogosphere these days there is boob talk. I figure I might as well throw in my two cents, or pair of sweet teats as it were. I mentioned a few days ago that my little 10lb bundle of delicious cuteness has started to scream when I feed her. Not like a little screech, but more like a blood curdling, toe curling, fetal position inducing kind of scream. I started thinking that she was still hungry and I was getting really frustrated when I called up my favorite LC who got me right in. Within two seconds of watching me nurse, the LC from heaven diagnosed me with clogged milk ducts on both teats. Dude. This motherhood thing gets grodier by the day doesn't it? Thank God I revel in the amazing science experiment that has become my body. It has stretched, oozed, grown, shrunk, leaked and now clogged! I wonder what surprises my body might hold in store tommorow! I am so waiting for the big boil to show up on my ass next week.....will keep you posted!

Fool on the move

baby

I started going to the gym in earnest this month. I must, repeat must, return to my formerly pleasingly zoftig form. I do not have lofty ambitions of wearing a size -2 jeans. I will settle moderately overweight instead of heading to the big girl store with a krispy kreme in my mouth.

So we went to the gym during the busy after work rush and I was on the treadmill in the front row so I could be close to the VH1 screen and be schooled in the 100 messiest celebrity feuds, when I saw The Davey come over to join me. Well, good thing he was there because I became so involved in the Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan feud that I momentarily stopped walking, stumbled and started to fall when The Davey got me upright but I still treadmilled myself right onto the floor which wouldn't have been so bad had I not had my headphones still plugged in and on my head.

I obviously had to hit the Dairy Queen drive-thru on the way home to drown my embarrassment.

Also,this breastfeeding gig is a hoax. If you ignore the best-food-for-the-baby- allergy-and-illness-aversion- if-you-don't-you-are-a-bad-mother-and-your-kid-will-grow-extra-limbs-and -be -in-special-PE-and-never-hold-down-a -fulltime-job-benefits-touted- at birth class part. I am talking about the promise that my midwife, friends, co-workers and the lady with the unusually large mole who stood in front of me at the target made me. "Don't worry about the pregnancy weight if you breastfeed, the weight will just fall of." Total Bullshit.

Check me out!

I have officially become the blogging geek I had always dreamed of being. This said, I would be most obliged if you would try subscribing to my new RSS Feed and letting me know how it goes.

Much Love Internet,

Kirsten

Decisions Decisions

Unbefreakinglieveable! I am working Monday through Wednesday and that has been creating like a jillion times more work for my co-workers to not have me there full time. When I suggested kindly last week to my jefe that he could lay me off if he needed someone more focused and who could work full time I thought that he dismissed the idea, but oh no internets......the man came to me today and said that HR told him that it is up to me if I would like a......drumroll please....VOLUNTARY LAY OFF!! Full unemployment for 26 weeks! But wait, there's more..... A SEVERANCE PACKAGE!! HEHEHEHE. A glowing reference and eligibility for rehire and the possiblity of covering for leaves of absence.Of course I told him that I would need time to think it over....hmmmm. Let us reflect on this for a moment:1. I could stay at home with my baby making nearly what I earned full time.
Or
2. I could continue working my ass off 3 days a week while my milk supply dwindles, pull my hair out and earn less than I would with unemployment.
You tell me which I should do......:)

The most expensive lunch ever

My mother gave me the most wonderful birthday gift today. She took Goldie for 7 glorious hours whilst me and The Davey spent a sinful afternoon playing poker and blackjack at the casino in La Center. I usually don't play poker, like never, but it just happened that I was feeling a little froggy and decided to try something new. Apparently I didn't get the memo that girls shouldn't play poker because I was the only one in the whole place who whipped out some cash and ponied up to the table. I learned a lot, most importantly I learned that I suck at poker. The hands I did win were doubly satisfying because the other players (all of whom were in posession of not only a penis but many more chips than me) totally thought I would lose so they kept betting. It was awesome.

Also they give you free food while you are playing cards. I ordered chicken strips, Davey had a steak. I figure that this lunch, while undeniably tasty, cost us approximately $200. Did I mention they don't charge for extra ranch? ;)

Foolishness

I am sitting here wondering to myself at what point in the evening last night at my birthday party did I decide it would be a good idea to stay up all night with my girlfriends drinking when I knew I had a 10 lb time bomb of cuteness who would need my love and affection like an hour after I went to bed? I am a fool....A FOOL I tell you. I am shaking my fists at the delicious leftover cake and vanilla vodka for blinding me with their luciousness and allowing me to talk "just a little longer".

I will say that the most positive thing of all is that this has been my first non-pregnant social event and I didn't smoke. not even a puff. I didn't even want to. This is a freaking miracle! Usually I could not be trusted within a 50 mile radius of a pack of marlboro lights without foaming at the mouth, but now I dont' even care. Thanks Goldita for making me a healthier person......

Bad Penny

So remember I was all sad when we said goodbye to the dog? Well no more. Unfortunately after two weeks with them she nipped a toddler who was chasing her at the dog park and they threatened to sue the couple. So we took her back. And now I just want her gone. I contacted a dog rescue and hopefully they can help. Yowsa!

In other non-baby-non-dog news, we joined a gym. They have childcare and a pool so they score double points. They cater to seniors so Davey fits in and I don't feel the competition of the pretty people gym down the street. Unfortunately after diligently working out tons this week, I have gained 2 lbs. and no, it isn't muscle folks.

Oh, and Goldie has a new habit where she shrieks after I feed her because, you know, there's no milk left and she wants more. Why the hell does she do that?